Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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