i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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