I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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