a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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