I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize