If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize