8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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