Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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