It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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