Sry I called you an 8
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize