Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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