I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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