I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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