It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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