He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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