WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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