Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize