Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize