Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize