What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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