Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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