Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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