I want to stick my p in your. b.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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