i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The air was thick with penises
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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