Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize