I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize