What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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