He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
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I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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