i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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