...so i touched it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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