she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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