So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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