First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize