So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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