Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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