After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize