he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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