If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize