Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize