i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Someone signed my nipple.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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