apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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