Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
this hospital has no fireball
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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