just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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