maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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