i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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