Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize