is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize