My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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You. Win. At. Life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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