i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize