It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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